Sea, sun, and grilled spiny lobster – A Christmas tale
by ylemon
Summary: I think the title says it all: here's another one of my silly (hopefully funny) short stories.
1. One month before Christmas

**One month before Christmas – New Scotland Yard, London**

'Why are you so gloomy, Sergeant? The streets are full of Christmas lights, the shops windows are beautifully decorated, the festive season is here.'

DI Thomas Lynley was making a pause at the coffee machine with his sergeant, DS Barbara Havers.

'I'm not too fond of Christmas.'

'Do you have seasonal affective disorder?'

'Why is it that people think you're loony when you say you don't like Christmas?'

'I never called you a loony!' Lynley protested.

'The festive season is sometimes difficult enough when you have a family but it's worse when you have to face it on your own. With all the overtime we did, I have a lot of days to make up. Ardery wants me to take the same holidays as you so I'm going to spend a week at home, turning around like a lion in a cage.'

'You could take this opportunity to go away on holiday.'

'Go away? Where?'

The answer came immediately:

'Somewhere sunny. Go to a warm country. In the middle of the winter, there's nothing like the sun and the sea to put a smile on your face. What about the Caribbean? Jamaica, Barbados, the Virgin Islands…'

'Incredible how life is easy when one has plenty of money.'

'It's not a question of money, Barbara. I'm sure you can find a destination well within your budget. If nothing or nobody keeps you in London, go away. It's been a long, hard year; you need to relax. Give yourself that treat; you deserve it. Could you imagine? Christmas Eve on the beach…Grilled spiny lobster, punch, dancing all night with imps in swimsuit…I wonder why I'm not going there myself.'

'Dunno. Maybe because all your family will be at Howenstow?'

'Maybe, yes.'

Suddenly his face lit up with a smile.

'What about I relocate Christmas this year? I'm taking everybody to a sunny place! Mother, Peter, Judith and her daughter Stephanie, aunt Augusta…'

'Your aunt Augusta in a pareo drinking a cocktail with an Adonis in swimming trunks,' Barbara mused, 'now, I want to see that!'

They both laughed.

'Me too! I'd love to see her letting it all hang out. It would do her good. And there's an added bonus: no need to rack my brains about the Christmas presents any longer! I pay the return flight and the hotel to everybody.'

'All in all the perfect plan.'

'Exactly! Your idea is brilliant, Sergeant!'

Barbara didn't remember this being her idea but Tommy looked thrilled and that was enough to make her happy.


	2. Three weeks before Christmas

**Three weeks before Christmas – Hiding out in Lynley's car, London**

'Where has your good humour gone, sir? Christmas, the decorations, the holidays in the sun…'

'Disappeared,' Lynley answered in a funereal voice. 'Gone, vanished, pop!'

'Pop?'

'Pop.'

'Christmas eve on the beach, pop?'

'Pop.'

'The cocktails, pop?'

'Pop.'

'The imps in swimsuit?'

'Pop. And pop goes the grilled spiny lobster too. Aunt Augusta doesn't want to go, Stephanie spends the holidays with a friend and her family in the Swiss Alps, Peter prefers to stay away from too many temptations. If at least I had managed to convince Mother but she says we can't leave because of our obligations. Our obligations! Freezing to death in Nanrunnel's church during the midnight mass, an obligation!'

'I guess it's not the right time to talk about my plans for the holidays then.'

Lynley raised an eyebrow.

'You're going abroad?'

'Yes, I followed your advice and broke my piggy bank. I've my plane tickets and I booked the hotel.'

'Fantastic. Where are you going?'

'British Virgin Islands.'

'Can I come with you?'

'Seriously? What about your obligations?'

'To hell, my obligations! I like Reverend Sweeney but I prefer the grilled spiny lobster!'

Barbara smiled.

'And the pretty imps in swimsuit, I guess?'

'To be perfectly honest, yes.'

'That would set tongues wagging if we were going on holidays together.'

'We don't have to tell anybody. I don't take up that much space.'

Barbara looked at him sceptically.

'1m88 and what 88 kilos?'

'86!' Tommy protested.

'Oh! No problem then, you're easy to carry as hand luggage.'

'Rolled up into a ball at the bottom of your beachbag with your towel on top of me. No one will know.'

Barbara laughed and it made Tommy smile again.

'Barbara? Isn't that our man leaving the building?'

'Yes, it's him.'

'Let's go!'


	3. One week before Christmas

**One week before Christmas – Christmas office party, a pub in London**

The party was in full swing. Secret Santa had brought his gifts and laughter had erupted at the sight of some of the presents. Tommy, Barbara and Winston were talking near the artificial Christmas tree. The topic of the conversation was Barbara's travel.

'Oh dear,' Winston sighed, 'the sun, the sea, the warm weather. I wish I were going too.'

'Sorry, Winnie, somebody has to hold the fort when I'm away.'

'Have you planned already what you're going to do there?' Tommy asked.

'Not really. I had a look at some internet sites and there are plenty of things to do but I only have one week. I'll see when I'm there. With the jet lag and the tiredness of the year I might just spend all my time sleeping on the beach.'

'That's a beautiful travel you're doing, Barbara, you have to make the most out of it so, as it seems I cannot come with you, I'll entrust you with a very important task.'

Barbara wondered what that special task was that Lynley was entrusting her with. She didn't expect that:

'You'll have to take some photographs for me.'

'That's your very important task? Taking some photos?'

She was a bit disappointed.

'Not any photos; I want to have the impression I went on holidays with you so I want you to make some very specific photos. I want to see an underwater photo, an aerial photo, a landscape, a night photo, a photo of you drinking one of those coloured cocktails that are served in those oversized glasses with a tiny sun umbrella. Be warned: the photo won't count if there's no sun umbrella!'

Barbara guffawed; Tommy was going on:

'I want to see that too: a photo of you laughing. And finally, I want a photo of you with Father Christmas in swimsuit on the beach.'

'Just Father Christmas in swimsuit or me too?'

'You can wear a pareo if you prefer. I like pareos; they're beautiful.'

'I'll bring you one if you want.'

'Thank you but I don't know what I'll do with it.'

'I'm sure you'll look good in it.'

Winston burst out laughing:

'I imagine you coming to work in a pareo!'

They all laughed.

'Ah!' Tommy exclaimed, 'I was going to forget the most important!'

'What else?'

'The grilled spiny lobster, of course! I leave you the choice of the settings: it can be in a fine restaurant, with a white napkin, candles on the table, you see the sort or, on the contrary, in a relaxed atmosphere, spiny lobster grilled on a campfire on the beach.'

'You really like that spiny lobster!'

'It's my reason for living,' he replied seriously.


	4. Christmas Eve

**Christmas Eve – Tortola, British Virgin Islands**

Barbara adjusted her pareo and smiled at her reflection in the mirror. Lynley was right, a pareo was a nice garment. She had arrived four days ago and already the sun had put some colours on her skin and some highlights in her hair. She felt good, and for the first time in years she felt almost beautiful. She had befriended her diving instructor and he had invited her to a party on the beach with some of his friends. He even promised there'd be grilled spiny lobsters to eat! Barbara smiled. If only Lynley were here, they could eat it together, that spiny lobster he loved so much. Her thoughts turned to a place far, far away from the British Virgin Islands, to a small fishermen town near Lamorna Cove, where in a cold church Lynley was listening, in reverential but impatient silence, to the midnight mass. The ringing of the phone drew her out of her daydreaming; her cab had arrived and was waiting for her.

The evening was deliciously warm and Mike's friends were very nice. The mood was festive and relaxed. Barbara was welcomed with open arms and soon found herself on the makeshift dancefloor with Mike. He was a good dancer and she happily let him lead. As the evening went on his moves became more sensual; the pressure of his body on hers, heavier. Barbara was beset by an internal conflict. She liked Mike but was that what she wanted? The music stopped for a short time to allow the dancers to change partners. A hand landed on Mike's shoulder:

'May I?'

Mike turned round to give the tiresome individual a withering look but Barbara was quicker:

'Tommy?'

A large smile appeared on Lynley's face.

'Sir! I mean, Sir,' Barbara corrected herself.

'Tommy's fine, Barbara, after all it's my name, isn't it?'

Mike was looking in turn at Barbara, who seemed pleased to see the newcomer – was she blushing or was the reddish shade on her cheeks coming from the last rays of the setting sun? – and at the broad-shouldered tall man dressed like a dandy all in white.

'What are you doing here, Sir?'

'Have you the slightest idea how the weather's like in Cornwall at the moment?'

'Let me guess…cold?'

'Damp! Three consecutive days of fog and when the fog clears, it rains! I was literally rusting. So I kissed goodbye to Mother and Aunt Augusta, wished them a very happy Christmas and took the first flight to here.'

'You left your family for Christmas?' Barbara couldn't believe her ears.' And what about your obligations? What about the midnight mass in Nanrunnel?'

Tommy looked at his fob watch:

'Finished by now and the Earth didn't stop turning because I didn't attend, did it?'

'And your mother agreed to your leaving?'

'Mother knows there are things more important that being on show for the sake of tradition.'

'For your upper crust lot? I don't believe it. What would that be? The appeal of the grilled spiny lobster?'

'Friendship.'

He came closer and took her in his arms.

'Love.'

The punch, the exotic surroundings, and the setting sun combined their effects to annihilate Barbara's defenses. She held Tommy tight, rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. She felt a wave of peace and well-being overwhelming her.

'OK, I got the point!' Mike grumbled.

'Sorry, Mike…' Barbara started.

'Don't apologize, Babs. It would have been fun, you and I, but this is serious stuff. A guy who leaves his family behind to hop a plane and fly half the globe to be with you, there aren't many like him. You landed yourself a fine specimen.'

'Even more than you think,' Barbara replied with a smile.

'I'll tell the cook there'll be one more guest tonight,' Mike said. He went to a group who was lighting a barbecue.

'How did you find me?' Barbara asked Tommy once Mike left them.

'I knew at which hotel you were, so I went to the reception desk and asked. The clerk directed me to a cab company and the cabbie told me where he had left you. A piece of cake for New Scotland Yard.'

She smiled tenderly at him and a thousand stars lit up Tommy's sky. He had taken a risk coming here on a spur-of-the-moment decision but in the end it was the best decision he had ever taken.

He leant towards her until his lips were about an inch away from hers, letting her decide to close that gap or not. She hesitated a fraction of a second and kissed him.

They danced together, their bodies in harmony, swaying to the rhythm of the music. Their desire was growing and Barbara had not reticence this time: she wanted Tommy as much as he wanted her.

'You're very beautiful in that pareo,' Tommy whispered in her ear, 'but would you mind if I helped you take it off?'

'I thought you'd never ask,' she sighed.

They were walking, hand in hand, towards Tommy's rented car when Mike called them out:

'Leaving already? The grilled spiny lobsters are ready!'

Barbara looked enquiringly at Tommy who smiled:

'They can wait a couple of hours.'

-THE END-

MERRY CHRISTMAS !


End file.
